What would you do?
Jun. 23rd, 2010 08:37 amIf your child committed a crime [serious crime; ex: killed another person, robbed a bank without honorable intentions - just selfish greed, etc], would you turn them in, or protect them?
edit: READ ALL THE COMMENTS. Excluding self-defense, defending your family, etc. Dishonorable intentions, malicious intentions - whether influenced by upbringing, being abused as a child, etc [all excluded].
edit: READ ALL THE COMMENTS. Excluding self-defense, defending your family, etc. Dishonorable intentions, malicious intentions - whether influenced by upbringing, being abused as a child, etc [all excluded].
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Date: 2010-06-23 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-23 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-23 02:53 pm (UTC)LOL, on a lighter note, at least I know where she stands, eh? LOL
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Date: 2010-06-23 02:55 pm (UTC)I honestly don't know what I would do. I'd want to turn them in, but I don't know if I could.
As for my dad, he didn't say either way, but my parents are very similar in the quiet ways. So he'd probably turn me in too.
ALSO, just to clarify to everyone, I don't plan on committing any heinous crimes ANY TIME in the near or far future.
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Date: 2010-06-23 03:29 pm (UTC)Same here. I think the only exception would be if they took a life. That's just wrong, and I don't think I could live with myself, if I knew and didn't turn them in to the authorities. I'd keep thinking about the victim and their loved ones.
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Date: 2010-06-23 03:39 pm (UTC)HA, I was wondering.
And yeah. It's easy for me to say that I'd turn them in, but I don't have kids, so I really don't know for sure.
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Date: 2010-06-23 03:55 pm (UTC)In reality, if I had children I probably wouldn't know what to do.
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Date: 2010-06-23 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-23 06:34 pm (UTC)Is that fair?
BUT, I think my biggest thing to clarify here is that - let's take one specific situation. Your child (in general) kills another person. Not in self-defense, but just because. Not because the person murdered was threatening their family, etc - but killed another person because they felt like it or they got angry. What would you do if you knew your child had done that?
I still don't know what I would do. Does the guilt depend on the intent behind the murderer? Isn't that how it's supposed to work already?
I don't know.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-23 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-23 07:11 pm (UTC)One of the reasons for the trial by jury system in this country is that there is no firm line in the sand. Each case is individual and unique, regardless of similarities between one and the next.
No one kills 'just because'. Even psychopaths have reasons -- they may seem as simple as a woman wearing the wrong red dress, but there are reasons. Gang bangers make their first kill to get into a gang, to protect their family, because it's the way it is. In many cases, it's really all they know. Many responses when they're brought into jail and asked, "Why'd you kill X, Y, or Z?" is "It seemed like a good idea at the time," or "No reason," or "Just because." It's a superficial answer, fueled by the bravado they're led to believe is vital to their survival. The answers lie beneath that surface.
People who kill because they're angry aren't killing 'just because', there is a reason they were angry enough to resort to violence. Again the answer lies beneath the surface.
Have you read 'A Time to Kill'? It's an excellent book for this discussion.
As a parent, I would love my child regardless of what choices he/she has made. Would I turn them in? I can't tell you. It depends entirely on the situation. Would I coax them to confess? Absolutely. Would I coax them to seek legal representation? Absolutely.
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Date: 2010-06-23 10:26 pm (UTC)But she also said she'd visit us in prison, so that's nice.
Personally, I'd call the cops, too ... but I would have to wonder where I went so abysmally wrong with my child that they turned criminal, too.
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Date: 2010-06-23 10:36 pm (UTC)For example, if my child was being molested by say a teacher or close friend or family member and I didn't know about it but then said child murdered said other person? I'd get the best damn lawyer and could and protect the hell out of them.
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Date: 2010-06-23 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-24 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-24 01:09 am (UTC)No question.
My parents have always made it abundantly clear to me that they would do the same.
Family comes first.
I'd also like to think I would raise my children like my parents raised me so if they did commit a serious crime it would be to defend themselves/for honorable intentions.
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Date: 2010-06-24 01:28 am (UTC)As for the situation, I absolutely believe there's a reason beneath the surface, but I wanted to see how close we could get to 'an absolute'. I wanted to steer clear of 'self-defense', or threatening a family member/loved ones. Just bare bones murder, perhaps a person being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know?
I would love my child regardless as well, but it's something oddly intriguing to think about. *shrug*
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Date: 2010-06-24 02:15 am (UTC)On the same subject, while unrealistic, the show Dexter deals heavily with this idea. If you haven't watched the show, Dexter's foster father rescued him from a shipping container where his mother was murdered in front of him. The father is a cop and sees Dexter's serial killer tendencies as a child (killing animals, no emotion, extreme anger, etc...). The father decides to reign Dexter in (in a manner of speaking) and teaches him a code. The code keeps Dexter from ever getting caught when he kills, but the code also dictates that Dexter can only kill people that deserve it (i.e. people who have killed others). In this way, the father protects his son, but also tries to make it less heinous than Dexter would have been without direction. Just another perspective on the issue.
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Date: 2010-06-24 02:26 am (UTC)As for the absolute; I honestly don't think you make a firmer statement than a 'generally speaking, it's wrong to kill'. There are all sorts of paradigms in which it's acceptable to kill, and even if one subscribes to a pacific ideal, there's still vermin and other life forms to consider.
Interesting question you've put out there. Thanks for the discussion.